They say it takes a village to raise a child. Well, it also takes a village--at best a supportive community, and at the least a few very good friends--to keep a person sane and happy. All of us need companionship, which is exactly why teenagers are texting their friends in the middle of dinner (TMI, BFF, OMG ...), and why people who didn't own a personal computer last year now have profiles on Facebook, My Space, and other social-networking sites.

This is what one baby boomer said: "I am 56 years old and it's a comfort to me to read how many of you have experienced what I have in feeling lonely and not able to make friends and connect with people." So many others have articulated the same. Even those in happy marriages or committed relationships, even those surrounded by people who know their name. In our hearts, we all crave for the deep connection that a graced friendship can offer.

Maybe the first trick to finding friends is to befriend ourselves, and to become comfortable with silence, because no one has the power to make us feel okay with ourselves but us.

1. Join a Book Club
If your neighborhood doesn't have a book club, you can usually join one as part of the local library, the recreational or community center, the community college, or online. Many papers will post book club notices, as well. Hey, and you could start one, advertising in local coffee shops, recreation centers, etc.

2. Volunteer
That one is a no-brainer. Seriously, have you ever considered the many charities to which you could give your time? Your local civic association is always in need of volunteers for projects like "let's clean up the park before a hundred dogs crap on it again" and Toys-for-Tots, Christmas in April, and so on.

3. Go Online
If you're reading this, you have probably already taken this step! Good for you, because according to several studies published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, Internet support groups have been shown to help those suffering from depression.
Try out a site like www.tbd.com, a baby boomer type social website with different interest groups and many interesting contributors/members

4. Find In-Person Support
Folks, there's more to the support group universe than AA. Have you ever looked through all the local listings of meetings in your area? For depressed folks there are Recovery meetings (based on Recovery, Inc. founded by Dr. Abraham Low), DRADA (Depression and Related Affective Disorders) groups, NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) groups, DBSA (Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance) groups. Consider assertiveness training classes at the local YWCA (and they have all sorts of programs) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy groups at the community college.

5. Take a Night Class
That's where you can supposedly meet men (or women) if you find yourself single in your late 30s or 40s or 50s. If you take a class in something that you are interested in, you're very likely to find potential friends with similar hobbies.

6. Get a Dog
I'm not talking about using the dog only as a companion, although studies do indicate that pets are natural healers of depression. I just mean that dogs are people magnets--and usually nice-people magnets.  

7. Adopt Friends from Friends
Even though this technique was frowned upon in the fifth grade. But many (NOT ALL) people in their 30s, 40s, 50s, etc. have loosened up a bit. This is a very efficient method of making friends, because someone has already done your dirty work--the interview process--and weeded out the toxic folks.

8. Attend a Conference or Convention
I've met some of my best friends at conferences, conventions and trade shows. I usually fly or drive home with a stack of business cards, and several potential friends.

Every day life is full of potential friendship moments: waiting rooms, church, trains, planes, automobiles, office meetings, support groups, or coffee shops. These are just a handful of suggestions.

Get on out there!

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